52

and feeling like every bit of that age. Half a decade, 52, elderly, senior citizen or just plain OLD! I am living in a world where if you don't already have a job, you probably won't be able to get one unless you are super talented and have skills that can carry you over and win the confidence of that company or you know someone. I have every intention of holding onto my current job but have had lingering thoughts of driving a bus again. I used to drive for the Durham Transportation company that picks up and drops off school age children to where they need to go and I really enjoyed that type of job at that time. I'm not so sure I would enjoy working with school aged children again. Looking over the Craigslist ads and seeing the Stanford Marguerite Shuttle have openings every now and then AND they are willing to train you to get your class B license is an even greater incentive to apply. Plus, I secretly think they are waiting for me to apply! Not to be overly confident and not sure of who or what they are looking for but I question on Why there is always such a high turn over. Anyway, to get back to feeling old. I just dyed my hair today and it seems that I have to dye it every two to three weeks instead of every other month. The gray around my face makes me look like I have on an Eskimo hooded jacket and my age and tiredness shows there. When I dye my hair, it rejuvenates me and gives me a sense of youth. That's right, I am VAIN as is most women my age. Middle-aged crisis? Call it what you want but no one likes to feel old unless they themselves call it, which i have done on numerous occasions after turning 50. I can feel my body slow down, my skin sags in areas where it used to be tight and strong. My bones make more creaking sounds than my living-room floor. I have to move slowly in the morning upon wakening as to not strain anything. My Rheumatoid arthritis numbs my fingers and after exercising them while lifting my coffee cup to my dry mouth a few times, it takes quite a bit of effort to warm up. I haven't been to my Gym in over six months and yet I am paying $49.00 a month to keep it in the hopes that one day I will go. I keep telling myself, "after work I will go work out at the Gym" but the overtime that I get from work keeps me from going but really it's my procrastination that prevents me from doing just that. All in all, as long as the good lord lets me get up in the morning and I have a job that I can go to and put food on my table, pay what I need to pay and enjoy my family, then it's been a good life for me. I am grateful for what I have even if it's just a few gray hairs.

Doc Yan

has been my primary physician for 10 plus years. Her practice resides in the Foggy, cool city of Daly City at Seton Hospital. Seton used to be called Marys Help Hospital back in the day but the powers that be changed it. I did some lab work two weeks ago to measure my cholesterol and she called me today to let me know that my cholesterol is high and that i need to start taking medication to lower it. After conversing about my numbers and where they fall, it was decided that i start my medication today. CVS is very convenient for me to pick up my medication since it is right down the street and a short drive and my go-to store for just about anything. The medication prescribed is Simvastatin at 20 milligrams (1 pill) daily and to be taken at dinner time so that i don't forget because as you know I am 52 and old people need to be reminded how to take their medication. She stated that it will have no other interaction with the other medication that I am taking for Rheumatoid Arthritis but only I can be the judge of that. I will have to cut out all foods that are white. Rice is a MAJOR deletion and will be epically hard for me to do because of my Polynesian heritage and how i was raised on this from a child. All others pasta, white flour products etc will also need to be scrutinized as well. I will need to get on brown rice which I was trying to eat for some time but long ago but lacked enthusiasm for it. And now, it will have to take precedence in my life. It will be a Major game changer for me and how I will feed my body and my life if I am to prevent heart disease. Plus the fact that I get on my weight scale at home tells me that I need to "amp" up my work outs more, just plainly put, more exercise in my life. I will start walking from my Employee bus pickup and drop off to the Air Train starting tomorrow. I will need to start earlier in my day. I have been faithfully eating Cream of wheat with my daily breakfast with lots of fruits and nuts along with it. I have or so I thought declined all white sugar with coffee and teas but it doesn't help when I order those Star-Buck Frappes or Peets Chai masala drinks. Or the craving for Malted Balls, chips and such. That's where I fail myself in the sugar area. I will have to be more diligent in getting myself back to a healthy state. I have felt more tired, sluggish, and more inflammation in my joints. I need to get back what I had and onto the road to good health. I just got my brand new passport yesterday with 52 pages!!! Yeah, I am stoked about that as I plan to do more traveling, even if it's just for a few days! I spirit is listening to the call of 1st Class on a 747 to somewhere, anywhere! I am ready to go!

Susceptible

sus·cep·ti·ble

[suh-sep-tuh-buh l] 

accessible or especially liable or subject to some influence, mood, agency, etc.: susceptible to colds; susceptible to flattery.

    A visit to my Primary Doctors this week proved uneventful.  It was mainly to see how I was coming along on my Physical Therapy treatments on my soft tissue injuries due to my car accident.  Doc Yan stated that since I have Rheumatoid Arthritis,  I am susceptible to any injuries lasting normal than what a healthy body would be.  Meaning that my healing time would take much longer,  well, DUH!  These doctor and Physical Therapy visits including only being able to work 1 day since the accident, compiled on top of my dealing with  insurance company has been leaving me in a depressed mood all week.  Stress, anxiety and low energy has been giving me low grade headaches that I normally don't get.  I'm off for one more week until Jan. 21st. 

     My daughter Christiana is at San Mateo General Hospital and has been there for a few weeks to help get her own medication for her mental illness up to speed which she has forgone because of her pregnancy.   She has been calling me almost everyday to come and see her or bring her something.  I thought to just take a time-out from her life and get mine in order.  Seems that I never get a chance to deal with my life but I deal with everyone's  first.  Since all of my children have moved out of my home,  I would think that would be the ideal time for myself, WRONG!  No matter what age my children/young adults,  they will always need something,  guidance, wisdom, small talk, money, material things and most of all, love and support.  I helped her social worker, Kelsey move all her belongings from the Sequoia Hotel in Redwood City to my home and house her items until she is well enough on her own.  In the meantime,  her boyfriend, who is the "baby daddy" is in his own world and one of whom I don't want to associate with because of his own addiction to Crystal Meth and a bad host of crap that I don't want to be a part of.         

Better late than never

       Many birthdays, funerals, events of my life and changes have happened since I had last posted.  I still have the stiffness and aches of Rheumatoid Arthritis which will be with me until my last breath.  Luckily,  I have a great  Rheumatologist who is very happy with my results and where I am today versus where I was in 2007 at my first diagnosis.  I still have a wonderful support system of God, friends, family and the all mighty Internet!
     The daily living of my life is now wanting me to write, type and say what is on my mind.  With the advancement of picture phones causes me to react to what I see,  most of the time beautiful visions and sometimes,  it pauses me to question.
      This year, turning 50 was uneventful and with little celebration.  Not wanting the "hoopla" that goes along with a unique event was my choice.   Doc Stevens, my Rheumatologist,  has been consistent in mixing and tweaking my medicinal cocktail of Methotrexate, Prednisone and Folic Acid.  In addition to that,  I was on Humira for approximately one year and self-injecting my poor thigh every two weeks with this hugely expensive liquid gold that would take away the inflammation that has turned against me waging a horrific war on my joints and bones.  Friends thought I was heroic to subject myself to that torture when in reality,  I did not want to sit in an office for three hours on an I.V. every week  listening to other patients and their talk of combat with this dreadful disease.  Call me selfish,  uncaring and self-centered.  I was battling my own depressing feelings of fright, fear, loneliness and heaviness that weighted me down.    
     My Rheumatologist seems to think my disease is in remission but can rear its ugly head at any time.  I do thank Heavenly Father along with my dilligance to take my medication to help me along for as long as I can.

Happy Holidays!

   It seems appropriate to say and politically correct in this day and age.  I have a day off from work and making potato salad for Mama Diane's gathering tomorrow at her house.  I'm also fending off a cold and have been self-medicating myself to a healthy return.  My Curasrip people for my Humira pen forgot to call me and now i'll be a little late in taking my injections but it won't matter much.  I have been feeling the best that I can be with little swelling on some days and resting when I can when i'm not working.  Doctor Stephans likes where all my "markers" are and is happy with my results since my first meeting with him.  I was in alot of pain and my movements were very restricting to me.  It was unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life.  A complete wake up call to my health and I thought I was doing all that I could to not have the diseases that my own mother and father had.  It was a bit of a let down but I wasn't too deterred and figured,  my life needs to go on.  Sitting here on Christmas Eve day,  I have much to be thankful for.  I  am still here,  I have my children who love me,  I have friends and family that support and love me unconditionally and I have recently found peace in god's house.  I wish everyone a peaceful and joyous holidays.  Try to help those in need whenever possible and give thanks to the lord, always. 

Happy Mother's Day

as I spend a nice quiet weekend at my favorite Las Vegas Hotel, The Rio. The thought about spending three days alone and by myself is selfish but much needed in my family life of chaos and work. Three days without someone by my side to talk to or have lunch with or to lay out by the pool is selfish, but how many of us can say that or have that kind of time or would want to purposely venture on alone? Not many and yet many of us do. I am connected with my laptop and cell phone yet the urge and necessity for human contact is first and foremost. I regal in my solitude and still feel the pang of loneliness but the thought of my flying back home to unorganized chaos is overwhelming and I sit back in the comfort of my lounge chair in the warmth of the sun hearing sounds of the waterfalls and children playing in the background.
My son's birthday is today as he turns 15 years old. A handsome young man, dark features, clean cut, tall, lanky and built, obvious from his workout with free weights. His voice deeper as he ages, is my heart and soul. I wonder about his future and hope that he has the strength to carry him though his life journey of human trial and tribulations. I hope that I am a good enough role model for him as his mother and sometimes father.
As I drift off to sleep, I think good thoughts and try not to worry about the negatives in my life and focus more on the positive. I thank God that I am able to rise up from my bed in the morning, to open my eyes and take a deep breath and put my two feet on the floor to stand up and take the first steps in my day. I am very thankful for that.

Mortgage meltdown

I have been in talks on the phone with my mortgage lenders as my monthly payments have been overwhelming since I was on sick leave for four months and not able to keep up with my mortgage. Foreclosure looms in the distance and I have done everything possible to keep from losing my home. Downey has received my packet information for a loan modification but it will take four to six weeks to process. In the meantime, I am to call back every week to check on the status of the packet and where I am in the process. There is no foreclosure date, yet. I am hoping that they will modify my loan to where I can pay a respectable amount a month and not some outrageous sum for the next year or two. I have made up my mind to try to sell my home and just be a renter. I am totally satisfied with that. I have retained my realtor who sold my father's home in Pacifica and found this nice house in Daly City complete with an in-law apartment downstairs. My oldest daughter, Nani, who rents from me has not paid me any rent and I have told her that I cannot support a 24 year old! I suggested that she go and live with her boyfriend, Sergio, who she has recently gotten back together with and has been seeing. I did catch him on my front door stoop trying to leave an overnight bag that she had forgotten and confronted him about her staying with him. Like any man, he made up excuses that he lives on his own and likes living by himself since his mother moved back to Central America. But he calls my daughter when he wants to spend time with her to stay overnight at his place. Well you know what, Sergio? Take her, the hell, with you! Then I wouldn't have to see your free loading butt in my house! I did tell my daughter that when we sell this house, I will be moving into a 2 bedroom apartment for my son and I only. She's welcome to stay with us, but it will out in the front living room. It is very hard to live in California to afford a home or apartment here. Adult children moving back in with their parents. Children don't want to help their parents out with much especially if the adult children's money is going to important things like, partying with their friends. They eat your food, use your laundry detergent and have no decency to respect your home. It's the "GEN-M's" Generation moochers! I'm only speaking on behalf of my daughter. There may be more out there like her but then again, I know that there are alot of other self respecting young adults who do have their crap together and know what it takes to make it out in the world. Some just take a little longer.

Where have you been?

It has been some time since I have posted here. I have many half written and almost finished posts that I need to set up to send out but have not had a chance to do that. Work has been tremendously busy as well as my life. My taxes were sent out on the due date online only to be rejected by the IRS due to the father claiming my son on his taxes as a dependant and for what? The boy hardly sees that dead beat anyway. After re-submitting the paper and extra documentation by snail mail, I will again wait for their decision.
Also, I am trying to work out a lower payment factor in my mortgage in the hopes of NOT being one of the millions of homeowners who are walking away from their properties and mailing in my keys or the so called "jingle mail" syndrome. Gas prices are high, food prices are even higher. My grocery bill has gone up by at least $50.00 more than usual and we've scaled back on our buying strategies and sticking on what we really need or are going to cook for the next few days. I'm stocking up on soups since that is relatively cheap but loaded with sodium and only for a raining day to fill in.
I've been picking up lots of hours at work and padding my paycheck to counter the rising prices of our economy but it's a no win situation. Just try to stay afloat and surviving.
My RA has been easy to work with as long as I am taking my medication. Granted, I missed my Humira by three days and I'm hoping that it won't be a big deal when I take my second dose this month, on-time!
Beatrice finally got her annuity rolled over into an IRA and is very estatic about that but in the same breath, she found out a very good friend and choir sister has passed away today and is feeling very sad about that. I'm hoping that my life will start to unwrinkle the numerous bumps in the road as I go along and trying hard not to think the worse.

I can’t you idiot! I’m not an able bodied person!!!”

As quoted by Sasha from "living with RA". I totally know that she means by that statement. People in general, we like to believe, are good citizens in human society. Working at the airport, I know all too well about the living and able bodied people versus the disabled and families travelling with very young children. Impatience does not belong in the flying world of hurried travellers and trying to be the 1st one on board so that you can get your carry on luggage in the overhead bins. We neglect to see this and in our own selfish virtue, we become concerned about number one, ourselves. Travelling in 1st class, they are in their own world. Once they are on that red or blue carpet, who they leave behind in the boarding area is of no concern to them. Usually the next section to board is the frequent flyer's some of whom it can take up to 10 minutes to board alone. Some of them will be agitated since they did not buy or get upgraded to 1st class. Others will be completely beside themselves if families with children or the disabled are boarded before them sometimes causing a scene with their unkind comments or dagger throwing glares. "How dare they be boarded before me!" To these people, I think, 9/11 did not happen, the War in Iraq is a joke, Hitler loved African Americans, everyone is alive and well after the Katrina Hurricane and our economy is doing excellent. I know that these are not true at all. But it is easy to forget, put away and go on in the minds of most Americans. If we keep remembering these things, we might be a little more kinder and not harsh with a driving edge. We might learn to find our purpose and live together just a little longer on this place we call Earth.

Another Day

It's not enough
that is on my plate
a disease with no cure
no cure, yet, to create

excruciating pain
where did you come from?
where will you go?
when you are done

strong and able
I was once before
after you arrived
I was on all four

disbelieving, that this
was happening to me
irreversible damage
to my once healthy body

my energies drained
fatigue sets in
My question to God
what was my sin?

my body
red with rage
not from anger
my body
its cage

I have to go on
so much to do
will you let me
live this through

settled and uncomfortable
not trusting this
a slow patient breath
of life, I will miss

My disease and I, coexist
day by day
I pray to God
to see another day

20 Hour day

My work schedule was continuous as I picked up shifts and strung them together due to co-workers needing to leave work early and some much needed overtime. My payroll specialist will have a fit to see what hours I have accumulated today. My shift started out at 5:00-9:00am for overtime. I worked my own shift from 9:00a-1:00p and finished the remaining shift of a co-worker from 1:00p-3:15. From 3:15p-7:00p, I started the shift of another co-worker, who left for Mexico City with her husband. 7:00p-12:00a, I worked for another co-worker who needed the day off to be at home with her children and from 12:00a-1:00a for overtime to help out with full flights and sick calls. But that doesn't count the 4:00am wake up time and my getting home at 1:30am. In all, it was a very long day and I could definitely see myself dragging as the afternoon wore on. I managed to nap between flights and stay off my feet at times but I could feel the fatigue from not fully resting like I should have been doing. With my mortgage due and other bills close behind, surviving to stay in my home takes precedence. With all the picking up of my hours, I also neglected to take my Humira shot and didn't plan on missing today and will have to make up for it by taking it in the morning tomorrow. My company sponsored a pizza day to celebrate Valentines day and our profit sharing day which was a very nice gesture. At 5:00am, coming to work in the dark and leaving at 1:00am in the dark tells me that I've been here too long. Happy Valentine's Day.

Blogs

on Rheumatoid Arthritis is plentiful and abound on the Internet. In my search for knowledge about this disease that has taken up residence in my body, I am the gracious host and have learned to co-exist with this foreign invader by administering medicine that will help to keep the swelling from gravitating upwards making my fingers look like pudgy sausages and from the excruciating pain that rides along with it. Of course there are side effects and a myriad of other problems that come with taking these medicines. My RAtologist is keeping a close watch on my blood and my state of mind during my appointments. There are many helpful and informative sights on RA originating from society and centers for health. Knowledgeable as they are, the blogs or rather reports are very detailed as far as talking about the factors, symptom's and depth of the disease. I find comfort in the blogs written in part by people like me that have a life, family, work and are trying to understand the "why me?" syndrome. I remember when I was first diagnosed with this disease. I was thinking, "ok, it's not Cancer" and I wasn't really too worried about it. After delving into the Internet on any and all information about rheumatoid arthritis, I was exhausted. The only visual material wording that stunned me in all of these blogs were the words, "No Cure". At least Cancer has a cure! My emotions were overwhelmed and I cried for a few moments at a time. There was too much for me to do before I become totally debilitated by this disease. It took me a few months say the word "disease" and acknowledge it as such. After a healthy amount of reading and extensive visits with my RAtologist, my state of mind is in a better place and attitude. I have learned to cope with this foreign resident and have given everything it needs so that we can peacefully co-exist one day at a time.

Fourth shot, left thigh

Because I have to interchange injection shots on my thigh, I have to keep track of where my last injection was and because my mind sometimes forgets, this is a good reminder for me. I took a little over half an hour to finally administer the shot, again, talking myself into it and each time looking at the end of the needle. That is what takes me so long because I tend to psyche myself out. Once done, it wasn't that bad. I have to stop looking at the needle before injection to quicken my task, next time, that is what I will do.
The rain is falling as I hear it outside on my windowsill. I instinctively sense that most of my companies inbound arrivals will be delayed due to weather and wind. My quiet time to myself is everyday which I highly guard and treasure. Luckily my 14 soon to be 15 year old son is very self sufficient and will seek my attention, when needed, in the form of his curious questions of life. When he was a little curly haired moppet, he had unending and intelligent questions that he would ask me. "Why makes the sky blue?" "Why is a tree two colors instead of one color?" I would answer him as honestly as I could. If I did not know the answer, we would seek the information from a dictionary or search the internet. Now a towering young handsome man with a voice so deep, my thoughts bring me back to his toddler days of mischief and squeals of easy laughter. Children grow so quickly when you're raising them. In between working and life, they have found the time to evolve, mold and form into productive vessels of God bringing forth good values that I have instilled in them throughout their lives.
The sound of pelting rain upon my window stirs me from my thoughts as I regain my focus on my quiet time and ready myself for work.

Tiredness

sets in as I reduce my prednisone by half a tablet. During the past week, I have been feeling rather lethargic and wanting to stay home more. Besides going to work, I'm having a difficult time completing tasks that should have been completed weeks ago. I have all of my tax documents and somehow, I am not able to persuade my body to engage in being productive. Because of the inclement weather, I have discontinued my walking regimen but that is a poor excuse for not accepting the fact that I have Toni Little's workout machine, The Gazelle, that was left behind by my daughter's ex boyfriend, down in the garage. I just need to step my voluptuous butt on it! So where am I? Cooking, concocting smoothies and preparing for my work night while watching T.V. from the comfort of my nice warm recliner.

First full week

back at work and my mood has lifted immensely. Being in the company of my co-workers and friends have an amazing effect on my soul and a restfulness of being back to work. Today represents the last paycheck that I will receive as a true part-timer. After taxes and deductions, it is such a paltry sum that I had to smirk and decide which one of my accounts would receive the dubious honor. I won't be missing that type of sick pay any time soon and I'm am genial to the fact that I can pick up more hours as long as I don't exhaust myself into ruin.
The rainfall this weekend has been plentiful and the air is colder than most. Because of the medications that I am currently taking, my weakened immune system is more susceptible to the common cold. I have added a sweater to my uniform and have taken extraordinary precautions to not approximate myself where the infirmed are. My locker is full of cold remedies and instant soups predicating that I have a healthy day. What I absolutely should do is accompany my blender to work and create my health conscience smoothies, but I would like for my blender to be there in the morning when I return. That would take an act of faith and would have to think a little more on that herculean idea.
In February my vacation relief schedule will change to the morning shift thus I will be picking up numerous evening shifts to improve the quality of my next paycheck. Anything would be better that what I recently received.

Medication

lowering of my prednisone by half a tablet this week. So far I am at one and a half tablets of prednisone at 5 MG, one folic acid tablet at 1 MG and 1 multi vitamin, daily. I take four methotrexate tablets at 10 MG every Wednesday and the Humira injection every two weeks, all of which I have faithfully taken and not missed for fear of my stiffening joints coming back to haunt me. The weather certainly doesn't play any part in it's affect on my joints as I so often hear from other sufferers. I sometimes feel a fullness in my hand joints when I curl my fingers and I look for tell tale signs of nodules and deformities as my fingers stand at attention under my inspection. I am afraid of the medications in my ample embodiment of woman and I disengage from the thoughts of what the future holds for me. Four months ago, I was a wretch from my tormenting pain and surprised by the suddenness of it all. A misery I would not wish upon anyone and executed a disguise of my endurance. This disease was altering me so aggressively, that I was not recognizable to myself anymore. Where was that sturdy, vigorous, take-charge woman that I knew? The agony was excruciating. The loneliness was more inviting, yet, lacerating and extracted me from the human race. My advantage was my family and friends who kept in touch with me often with their talk of others with my affliction. I continued to help others in their time of need to keep me active in life since I was abruptly forced to stay home. In helping them, I helped myself heal and redirected my quality of health for the better.

Lord, give me strength

in tempering my soul, mind and thoughts with my children. My second daughter, Pua, went AWOL last night from the facility where she was a resident. Her sometimes boyfriend, Adolpho, drove to Sacramento, picked her up and brought her to his place in Redwood City. Then drove her back to my home to spend a few days with us. It is always a problematic reunion between Nani (oldest daughter), Manny (only son) and Pua (second daughter). Nani and my son live at home with me and Pua abides her time in and out of mental facilities and group homes. She has been out of my home since she was diagnosed at 16 years old with schizophrenia, depression and was made a ward of the state at her request. Now at 23, she infrequently comes home and when she does, it can be very chaotic at times. Her facility environment consists of a tumultuous, boisterous and many times violent atmosphere to where she has her guard up twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Patients that she may call her friend one day could end up fighting her the next day without any explanation or provocation. Tempers flare quickly and often in crowded facilities like hers. Word of her escaping her facility last night was a phone call to her siblings and they in turn, called me at work. The questions, fears and worries of how Pua will manage without her medication. Pua's fear and loathing of not wanting to go back to her facility. Everyone looking at Mom and what I decide to do. Tired and wearisome, I can only go by the moments in time. Planning ahead in this particular situation is meaningless. Erratic, Nomadic and unpredictability is Pua's modus operandi and just cause for not planning. Where will she go from here? It is anyone's guess.

Reentry

back to work since yesterday has been wonderful. This is my second day on the job and my shift involves being the meal planner, billing and security checks. It's nice to see all of my co-workers and engage in their witty and humorous conversations. They are an enjoyable part of my life. Since I've been gone for my four months, I also observed that the gossipping and tattle tailing is still going on by the same people that choose to live their working life by these dramatizations. It saddens me to think ill of my co-workers like this and it makes coming to work more of a process than entertainment which can turn a four day a week work schedule into a piercing brittle thorn in my side. In the words of the famous Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along?" That statement and those words hold true in everyday life but it is the denseness of ignorance and unfamiliarity that makes most people not want to apply it to their own lives. It is what we are taught as a young child that carries forth with us into our adult life. I recently had this conversation with Mama Diane who is a young woman with an old spirited and knowledable soul and Carmen's mother, on this topic. We can delve into the deepest of conversation and I come away with an awareness of my life. Making it better for my children as my parents have made better for me.
At work, we toil on, gossip, drama and all of it's realization put forth in full view playing out like a disastrous scene from Shakespeare. Most of the uninvolved stay out of it, some can't help but get tangled up in the labyrinth and others just plain and simple seem to feed off of this commotion. My finding: you can never please anyone, anywhere at anytime.

Weekend reminiscing

as I sit here in the badging office of the San Francisco Airport, I thought about my visit with my daughter Pua this past weekend. Her mental illness now under control with medication as we compare what we are taking and it's long term effects on our bodies, another bond that we will share for our lifetimes.
My friend Carmen may be settling out soon with her car dealership who has underhandedly and unlawfully failed to repair her car. She retained a lawyer from the Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco who is helping in her endeavor. It's wonderful to know that the "good ol boys" can't win all of the time, for that fact that anyone who thinks that they can so smugly deny someone is an injustice and deserves to reimburse back the innocent person, ten fold.
I will be starting back on my job on January 16th and am very happy about that. I have been looking on my company website looking for hours to pick up. So far, no one seems to be giving away any. I don't blame them. This economy is sliding into a major recession. No one has the money to spend and the state of our economy has shot through the roof. I have reverted to charging groceries on my credit cards and considerably every bill that comes into my home is being put on my credit cards. I can't wait to see next month's Visa statements! My W-2 is online and I am waiting patiently for the rest of my statements from the bank to complete my taxes and anticipating an early refund check. Less than a month from now, my company will be distributing my profit sharing check into my bank account. I plan on working every day for the next month, to receive a decent paycheck. Other than that, I can't think of anything else to add this already busy day.

Fibroid

I finally saw my primary physician and the results of my pelvic sonogram came back with a lone fibroid about an inch long. It is the probable cause of my heavy bleeding once a month. My last successful, "Aunty Flo" was in November 2007. I missed December and maybe even this month. It could also be the extraordinary amount of medication that I'm my body has involuntarily taken these past four months. She immediately tells me that I can have an operation to have it extracted. That will cause me to miss at least one to three more months of work due to my recovery time and possibly losing everything I have or own. Or wait a few months to see if it has grown in size and then try to remedy it then. Or my missing "Aunty Flo" for the past two months may mean that I'm on my way to menopause which in turn will dry out the fibroid and cause it to shrink and slough off. Should my fibroid decide to grow, another procedure not widely known is NovaSure. I've been reading about it since a friend of mine recommended it to me after she read about such invasive procedures. It sounds like a godsend that anything that doesn't go up your hoo ha, in your wa hoo, or out your ying yang would be welcomed. One good thing about being off from work is the amount of reading that I accomplished, crossword puzzles that kept my mind agile and emails from friends and family has kept me busy. My HR man at work has given me the green light that my doctor has certified me fit to come back to work and start on January 16th. I am elated!