Fourth shot, left thigh

Because I have to interchange injection shots on my thigh, I have to keep track of where my last injection was and because my mind sometimes forgets, this is a good reminder for me. I took a little over half an hour to finally administer the shot, again, talking myself into it and each time looking at the end of the needle. That is what takes me so long because I tend to psyche myself out. Once done, it wasn't that bad. I have to stop looking at the needle before injection to quicken my task, next time, that is what I will do.
The rain is falling as I hear it outside on my windowsill. I instinctively sense that most of my companies inbound arrivals will be delayed due to weather and wind. My quiet time to myself is everyday which I highly guard and treasure. Luckily my 14 soon to be 15 year old son is very self sufficient and will seek my attention, when needed, in the form of his curious questions of life. When he was a little curly haired moppet, he had unending and intelligent questions that he would ask me. "Why makes the sky blue?" "Why is a tree two colors instead of one color?" I would answer him as honestly as I could. If I did not know the answer, we would seek the information from a dictionary or search the internet. Now a towering young handsome man with a voice so deep, my thoughts bring me back to his toddler days of mischief and squeals of easy laughter. Children grow so quickly when you're raising them. In between working and life, they have found the time to evolve, mold and form into productive vessels of God bringing forth good values that I have instilled in them throughout their lives.
The sound of pelting rain upon my window stirs me from my thoughts as I regain my focus on my quiet time and ready myself for work.

Medication

lowering of my prednisone by half a tablet this week. So far I am at one and a half tablets of prednisone at 5 MG, one folic acid tablet at 1 MG and 1 multi vitamin, daily. I take four methotrexate tablets at 10 MG every Wednesday and the Humira injection every two weeks, all of which I have faithfully taken and not missed for fear of my stiffening joints coming back to haunt me. The weather certainly doesn't play any part in it's affect on my joints as I so often hear from other sufferers. I sometimes feel a fullness in my hand joints when I curl my fingers and I look for tell tale signs of nodules and deformities as my fingers stand at attention under my inspection. I am afraid of the medications in my ample embodiment of woman and I disengage from the thoughts of what the future holds for me. Four months ago, I was a wretch from my tormenting pain and surprised by the suddenness of it all. A misery I would not wish upon anyone and executed a disguise of my endurance. This disease was altering me so aggressively, that I was not recognizable to myself anymore. Where was that sturdy, vigorous, take-charge woman that I knew? The agony was excruciating. The loneliness was more inviting, yet, lacerating and extracted me from the human race. My advantage was my family and friends who kept in touch with me often with their talk of others with my affliction. I continued to help others in their time of need to keep me active in life since I was abruptly forced to stay home. In helping them, I helped myself heal and redirected my quality of health for the better.

A few days ago

I self injected myself with my second dose of Humira. The first one was in December in the presence of a nurse at my doctor's office. It is entirely different having a nurse eyeball you and injecting yourself on your own with this type of pen needle device. It took me approximately one hour to talk myself into the procedure. Yes, I'm a scaredy cat when it comes to needles. I don't freak out, I just don't like them. I'm hoping that this would be more effortless in the future and I'll be more tolerant of my feat.
I'm still on 2 prednisone/1 folic acid/1 metaplex multivitamin daily and 4 methotrexate on Wednesday, every week with no side effects. I've gained back my weight what I lost before going on my leave which is approximately twenty pounds. My stiffness had gone from my fingers upon waking in the morning and I can move much better since being on Humira. I try to eat breakfast most mornings and being consistent with Oatmeal or Malt-o-Meal and a piece of fruit. Since I've been home, cooking has been a wonderful process for me and especially my son since he is the main benefactor of my cooking. Recently, I bought a juicer from my local goodwill store down the street from me and it has been a much needed item in my household. I juice everything, vegetables and fruits. With the left over pulp, I blend it up with a mixture of ice and yogurt to make a nutritious smoothie. I do know that I have to start on an exercise regimen. Daily chores, laundry and washing the dishes does not count. I have to get my heart rate up and start toning up my flab if I want to live a little longer than the way that I'm going now with my health and pain management under control. Soon, I'll be starting back to work and my rat race begins forgetting my good "old habits" and acquiring and sticking to my great new habits.

Low energy

from my medication and I've slept until 9:00am. I took my HUMIRA injection yesterday at my doctor's office under the guidance of Jeanine, the office nurse. She started off by showing my exactly how to handle the Humira Pen, a long tubular pen like device with a needle on one end and a push button trigger on the other end. The needle is concealed by the tube and after I have iced an area of my upper thigh, I swab it with an alcohol swab, hold the pen, lightly, to the now sterile area and press the other end of the pen. I count to 10 seconds and feel a slight pinch. When the little yellow ball in the window of the pen shows, the medication has been fully dispensed. I take a little cotton ball and hold it in the area of the injection, but not too much pressure because that almost hurts more than the shot itself and put a bandaid over the cotton ball to stop any bleeding. With Jeanine's approving smile, she pats me on the shoulder and says, "Like a champ". Continuing on, she says that most men would rather come in for the one hour I V hook up than to administer the shot themselves. Yes, I was very brave under Jeanine's care. In two weeks under my own supervision, we'll see where my brave ability level will be then!