Saturday, June 1, 2013

Memories of my memories

It's true, I have been daydreaming and reminiscing about my children, who are all now, young adults with lives of their own and journeying into their own chapters of life. We just graduated a daughter Bryn from Mills College in Oakland last weekend and our son, Manny, from Air Force Boot Camp at Lackland AFB in San Antonio last month. We had another daughter, Camden, that graduated from Goucher College in Baltimore last year. My oldest daughter, Nani, I have not heard from for almost a year and lives in Pacifica with her boyfriend and another daughter, Pua, who constantly drifts in and out of our lives with a semi abusive boyfriend and lives by her wit and know how but always calls or texts me "Goodnight, mom...it's me Pua" tagged at the end of her message. My memories that have been occasional but only recently have begun to be unremitting. They consist mostly of my children as young toddlers up to 10 years of age. Clearly vivid as if yesterday, I can see them playing, hearing their laughs and giggles, brushing their hair, giving them baths, taking them to the store, watching them in pre-school, hearing their stories of gramma and grampa and all of these memories involve some type of motion, sense of smell, and essence of what was, a bouquet of delicious recollections of my children's past of years ago. I don't know why these reflections are so strong and intense. Maybe it's because this is what they call the "empty next" syndrome. But for what ever reason, my children are constantly on my mind. I'm hoping and wishing that their lives evolve into something good and productive as mine has been to me. I hope the good lord watches over them and gives them peace when they're troubled and I'm very glad that they call when they need direction or to hear our voices and I am glad to hear theirs. God is Good, Amen.