Time for family

Our "post Thanksgiving" dinner turned out to be an incredible moment in time for me. In attendance was my brother Doug, whom i haven't seen or spoken to in 3 years, my oldest daughter Nani, whom i have recently connected with, my daughter Pua, whom We keep in constant contact with, my partners daughter Camden, who visits regularly, my son Manny who sometimes thinks he knows more than me, my best friend from work, Darrell who's father recently passed away, Steven, Nani's boyfriend and Pua's housemate Judith all came together to celebrate the spirit of giving thanks. It truly was a sprited thanksgiving. There was talk, discussion, laughter, harmony, good heartedness, tender moments, tears of joy, forgivness and the fragile bond of what friendship and family is. All of these qualities and more is what human spirit is about. It has been what I have been missing for quite some time. This is usually a "dark" time for me as my owm parents have passed away many years ago but it stills feels like only yesterday that i was visiting with my parents while they spoil their grand kids. I dont think i will ever lose this feeling but a reunion of this type helps to ease my pain of missing what i need, the spirit and togetherness of family.

Memories of my memories

It's true, I have been daydreaming and reminiscing about my children, who are all now, young adults with lives of their own and journeying into their own chapters of life. We just graduated a daughter Bryn from Mills College in Oakland last weekend and our son, Manny, from Air Force Boot Camp at Lackland AFB in San Antonio last month. We had another daughter, Camden, that graduated from Goucher College in Baltimore last year. My oldest daughter, Nani, I have not heard from for almost a year and lives in Pacifica with her boyfriend and another daughter, Pua, who constantly drifts in and out of our lives with a semi abusive boyfriend and lives by her wit and know how but always calls or texts me "Goodnight, mom...it's me Pua" tagged at the end of her message. My memories that have been occasional but only recently have begun to be unremitting. They consist mostly of my children as young toddlers up to 10 years of age. Clearly vivid as if yesterday, I can see them playing, hearing their laughs and giggles, brushing their hair, giving them baths, taking them to the store, watching them in pre-school, hearing their stories of gramma and grampa and all of these memories involve some type of motion, sense of smell, and essence of what was, a bouquet of delicious recollections of my children's past of years ago. I don't know why these reflections are so strong and intense. Maybe it's because this is what they call the "empty next" syndrome. But for what ever reason, my children are constantly on my mind. I'm hoping and wishing that their lives evolve into something good and productive as mine has been to me. I hope the good lord watches over them and gives them peace when they're troubled and I'm very glad that they call when they need direction or to hear our voices and I am glad to hear theirs. God is Good, Amen.