Ohana (family)

A celebration of life brought my brother and I on an 8 hour road trip to Las Vegas for my cousin, Pumpkins funeral. Her full name is Melvalyn Yvette "Keala" Kahalehoe Manuma. In Hawaii, many of the children are given "nick names" growing up and her's is Pumpkin. I'll have to ask my cousin how that came about because there always is a story to how we got our names. The drive was long and luckily I was able to rent a car from Enterprise Car Rental at the San Francisco Airport for $9.99 a day, awesomely good deal when you're on a budget and my car that I primarily drive was in the shop and the cost was over $2600.00 to repair so that pretty much wiped out my checking account. The services were moved from Saturday to a Sunday because of some dispute over money and planning arrangements that needed more preparation. I picked up my brother late into Saturday morning and the drive took about 8 hours with his driving 110 miles an hour at the latter end of our trip. I was very relieved when we got to Las Vegas that there were no Highway Patrol that stopped us for speeding. Arriving into Las Vegas and now we had to search for our cousins who were staying at the California Hotel and we were to spend the night with them. Just by chance, they were still at the Main Street Station Buffet finishing dinner. We joined them for dinner and our reunions are always bittersweet. We did not grow up together, per se, but often when we visited either in Hawaii or California, it was due to our parents and relatives. We did what kids do, teased, played, ate, played more and got in trouble when we did not mind our parents or elders. It was good, clean fun. Being together brought back all those memories and reminiscing when we were younger. Now looking and taking pictures of ourselves, I can see our parents where they once were and the age has caught up to us. Gatherings bring some comfort to us and a spirit that is always re-kindled when we gather but it's unfortunate that it happens when a loved one passes. Celebrations are less as I age and funerals or "Celebrations of life" become more common in my life. My cousin's celebration of life was a true testament to her family's love for her and she will truly be missed. Rest in love my dear cousin, Pumpkin. I love you always.

Time for family

Our "post Thanksgiving" dinner turned out to be an incredible moment in time for me. In attendance was my brother Doug, whom i haven't seen or spoken to in 3 years, my oldest daughter Nani, whom i have recently connected with, my daughter Pua, whom We keep in constant contact with, my partners daughter Camden, who visits regularly, my son Manny who sometimes thinks he knows more than me, my best friend from work, Darrell who's father recently passed away, Steven, Nani's boyfriend and Pua's housemate Judith all came together to celebrate the spirit of giving thanks. It truly was a sprited thanksgiving. There was talk, discussion, laughter, harmony, good heartedness, tender moments, tears of joy, forgivness and the fragile bond of what friendship and family is. All of these qualities and more is what human spirit is about. It has been what I have been missing for quite some time. This is usually a "dark" time for me as my owm parents have passed away many years ago but it stills feels like only yesterday that i was visiting with my parents while they spoil their grand kids. I dont think i will ever lose this feeling but a reunion of this type helps to ease my pain of missing what i need, the spirit and togetherness of family.

Christmas day

and we have no signs of the Christmas spirit in our home. The artificial Christmas tree is still downstairs in it's box in storage, lights are still boxed up and ornaments are packed away. With only my son home with me and he being fourteen, he knows who Santa Clause is, the North Pole is a fact and that we are struggling for every last bit of money to hold onto this house. He knows that this will be a bleak Christmas as far as presents from his mother and can always hit up his father for that. He knows that he is well loved, he gets a scolding from me from time to time but in his heart, he know that I love him very much. His sister Pua sent him a B.I.G. blanket comforter which he loves because it's warm and "gangstah". Personally, I think Christmas is overrated and it makes us all go out and spend what we don't have to just be further in debt to credit card companies.
It is also the time of year in which my mother passed away several years ago and has left me empty during this time, missing her immensely. In my house, I watch T.V or movies all day, blog on my laptop, sell EBay stuff, talk to friends and co-workers and enjoy more of my quiet time thinking about my mother and father, my children, brother and sister. I think of better tomorrows and try not to worry because God does watch over us all and cares for us as much as he can, but we have to care first.