Another Day

It's not enough
that is on my plate
a disease with no cure
no cure, yet, to create

excruciating pain
where did you come from?
where will you go?
when you are done

strong and able
I was once before
after you arrived
I was on all four

disbelieving, that this
was happening to me
irreversible damage
to my once healthy body

my energies drained
fatigue sets in
My question to God
what was my sin?

my body
red with rage
not from anger
my body
its cage

I have to go on
so much to do
will you let me
live this through

settled and uncomfortable
not trusting this
a slow patient breath
of life, I will miss

My disease and I, coexist
day by day
I pray to God
to see another day

Fatigue

sets in as my long enduring hours of standing and constant work keeps my body from getting it's proper rest. I am right back to my old self again working tremendous hours a day for somewhat low wages and I cannot afford to do part-time work. In order to maintain my mortgage, bills and credit cards, I have to work maniac hours. By the time that I finish my work shift in the morning, I am completely exhausted by the time I get home. I have little time to nibble on something to eat before falling effortlessly to the comfort of my flannel sheets and firmness of my bed only to wake up at eleven in the evening in time to catch the news. I had a few tasks to do today but was too tired to complete any of them, one of which was to go to the bank and transfer some money which I will have to do tomorrow and to get a lab checkup for my primary on my glucose levels to test for diabetes which is an annual thing for me due to that it runs in my family. I want to try to prevent any diseases that my parents had and keep myself in check so that I can live a long comfortable life. Basically, whatever tests that I can afford under my insurance, I want it done.

Piggybacking

on my wireless connections has been much harder to access lately. Everyone has locked in and blocked me from piggy backing off of their servers. Serves me right that I need to get my own wireless router to have my own access. My son dominates the Internet at home due to school and what not. I am left to my own devices at work or when I can get online at home so catching up on my blog has been a little bit more tricky.What a stormy day it was at the airport and sure enough flight delays abound. We tried to accommodate as many customers as we possible could with full flights and other airlines. I'm sure many misconnected and will have to overnight in those connecting cities. There is nothing that we, as an airline, that we could do to accommodate all of our passengers. I have a full shift today and tonight and will need to go home and nap before the start of my evening shift. I received a very nice paycheck this time due to the fact that I'm picking up more hours versus my sick time paycheck which was pitiful. I can't neglect my health and will need to rest when I can and hopefully I will when I get home.

Delay

out of Las Vegas due to San Francisco weather. My flight on US AIR was running about an hour and a half behind schedule. I was truly hoping it would not be delayed any further as I have a rescheduled RA appointment at 4:00pm. As a standby employee, I was cleared immediately by the nice male gate agent who gave me an aisle seat close to the front of the aircraft. With another SFO flight that was scheduled and now delayed, the agent working that one started piling passengers onto my flight which was now going to be very full. Needless to say, I made it. While waiting in the boarding area, I noticed "Dog, the bounty hunter", from Hawaii sitting at the slot machine area being closely watched by his co-worker/body guard. In a few seconds, his wife Beth showed up by his side and you can't miss her! I tried to dish out my camera from my bag but they were gone at the sound of the 1st class boarding announcement for Phoenix. That would have been a sweet picture.My flight home was a little turbulent as we landed in raining San Francisco a little after 2:00pm. I drove home to check up on my son and my home . I had not seen my RAtologist since December when I started my Humira injections. In between that time, I have taken a few blood tests at the lab and so far, he is very pleased at where my marks are. My SED rate when I first started in August was over 100 when my Primary doctor diagnosed me. My RA, one week later pegged it at 96. Today, he stated it was at 32. He lowered my Prednisone from one and half tablet to one only. I'm still taking one folic acid and one multi-vitamin daily. 4 tablets of Methotrexate is still taken weekly. He was also very pleased to hear that I have not taken any Aleve or Motrin for pain. I would really rather feel the pain than NOT to feel any pain. How else can I identify if my body is hurting? My visits with him will be twice a year and hopefully down to once a year unless anything significant happens between now and then. I'll still be coming in monthly for more expanded blood tests which he will CC to my primary doctor. I am very happy that he's happy. I feel wonderful right now and very pleased with the results of my medication. Sure, I've gained a bit of weight versus the pain but to keep myself in check and back to normal, it's worth a little weight gain.

Poolside

at the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas as I am comfortable in my lounge chair feeling the gentle breeze of the wind waft over my body and the warmth of the sunshine upon me. What a grand feeling knowing that I don't have to be anywhere at anytime with anyone, decadent! So far, I have not won anything on the silver mechanical monstrosities called slot machines. My budget was very low coming to Vegas in the first place with only one thing in mind....picking up my Starbucks coffee kit. Relaxed as I am, this will be my last night here in this beautiful hotel. I will be leaving early in the morning to catch whatever flight that will get me home in time for my RAtologist appointment at 4:00pm which was originally scheduled for today. About an hour in the sun was good and called it a day for the pool and started towards the spa for another workout on the treadmill and bicycle. I love my Diamond Card and all the perks that go with it. After an hour of working out, I made my way back to my room to rest and take advantage of my tub for a bubble bath, delicious! Only to shower off and take a short nap before going to the Diamond Lounge for something to eat. I met quite a few personable waitstaff while here in the lounge and it shows that they truly enjoy what they're doing. Rustin and Mario remember me from previous nights ago and nod, "Good to see you again!". I make my way over to my usual corner of the dining room in my two seat booth tucked away in a nook. Again, sandwiches are the main course with crispy chicken wings and dim sum rounding out the hors d'oeuvre menu. Drinks flow freely here and the patrons come and go. I take my white zinfandel and a cappuccino for drinks while noshing away on the canapes, deserts and appetizers. My belly full again, I bid adieu to the staff that has treated me as if they have known me for ages and set out to find a winning machine.

Bumped

After waking up at 9am, I finally got ready, packed and out the door to catch my 1:35pm flight to Las Vegas which was delayed to 2:30pm. Boarding was complete, standbys were cleared and I had a row to myself. There is only so much that you could do on a 90 minute flight which left room for reading and snoozing, two of my all time greats! We landed with little fanfare in the glitzy city of Las Vegas and I made my way to the numerous shuttle services offered. The bus was full of patrons as we made our way to hotel after hotel until we finally arrived at the Rio All Suite Hotel. I checked in at the Diamond Services area and within a few minutes, I could see there was a dilemma. The woman checking me in advised me that they had "oversold" their rooms with conference attendees and wanted to keep the massive group together. My room would be offered to me if I still wanted it and If I took the offer to be put up at another hotel, this is what they would offer. My new digs would be the Paris Hotel, $100.00 in food vouchers, $100.00 cash, $100.00 in gambling chips and a limo ride to my hotel instead of the taxi or shuttle. I didn't blink an eyelash and quickly took the offer to help out the staff. They were very grateful and I was elated at all the goodies that I received. I inquired about my Starbucks kit and she advised me not to worry about it and to call in tomorrow for details to the concierge Diamond desk.With my prizes in hand, my limo was a short wait and a short ride to the Paris Hotel. I checked in at the Diamond registration desk and was personably greeted by Jasmine who offered me a room on the 23rd floor at room 2349P. All the excitement of this day has worn me out and I couldn't wait to see my room. I thought, what type of room ends with a P? Upon entering my room, it was one of two in a corner niche of the hotel. With detailed elegance, the room was magnificent. A large king bed greeted me with a nice setti across from it housed in front of a large bay window peering kitty corner to "the strip". Another bay window looked out towards the airport and the mountains. In front of it sat two individual comfortable aqua green chair amid a large armoire housing the T.V and the ample drawer space for my personal belongings. The bathroom was quite spacious with a tub, shower and large vanity. The sign on the back of my door states that this particular room rents for $2000.00 a night, single or double occupancy. A third person is $150.00 extra! What extravagance!I needed to feed my hunger and visited the Diamond lounge which was the opulence of what a lounge should be. Nicely appointed in dark cherry wood interior and the waitstaff in black and white suit and tie made this lounge elegant and professional. Dedicated to service, no one waited long for a table or to be asked what they would like to drink. Liquor flowed freely as did the appetizers which were replenished as soon as it was low. There was enough waitstaff to notice who were the new entrants and if you needed another drink. They were very attentive and professional. Fully satisfied from this type of meal, I did not need to visit the buffet or cafe. Instead I was on a mission to find my machine in this new hotel of luxury.

20 Hour day

My work schedule was continuous as I picked up shifts and strung them together due to co-workers needing to leave work early and some much needed overtime. My payroll specialist will have a fit to see what hours I have accumulated today. My shift started out at 5:00-9:00am for overtime. I worked my own shift from 9:00a-1:00p and finished the remaining shift of a co-worker from 1:00p-3:15. From 3:15p-7:00p, I started the shift of another co-worker, who left for Mexico City with her husband. 7:00p-12:00a, I worked for another co-worker who needed the day off to be at home with her children and from 12:00a-1:00a for overtime to help out with full flights and sick calls. But that doesn't count the 4:00am wake up time and my getting home at 1:30am. In all, it was a very long day and I could definitely see myself dragging as the afternoon wore on. I managed to nap between flights and stay off my feet at times but I could feel the fatigue from not fully resting like I should have been doing. With my mortgage due and other bills close behind, surviving to stay in my home takes precedence. With all the picking up of my hours, I also neglected to take my Humira shot and didn't plan on missing today and will have to make up for it by taking it in the morning tomorrow. My company sponsored a pizza day to celebrate Valentines day and our profit sharing day which was a very nice gesture. At 5:00am, coming to work in the dark and leaving at 1:00am in the dark tells me that I've been here too long. Happy Valentine's Day.

Burglarized

My good friend Sarah whom we helped move some weeks ago into her rental house in Vallejo was burglarized one week after moving in! She called upon myself and a few of her friends to help her re-move into a gated apartment complex over the weekend. Darrell picked me up and we drove over the Bay bridge together to keep each other company on the long drive over. We met up with Sarah, Norma and Sarah's mother who were helping her box up items that should have been packed before we arrived. After giving me the keys to the 30 foot U-haul rental truck, I was designated driver since everyone else was too afraid to drive it and I had a better handle on driving large vehicles. Darrell and I immediately proceeded to load the large items and were joined by the everyone packing it onto the truck. Five hours later, we were done with 80 percent of the house and ready to move it into her new apartment. Maneuvering the large truck into the complex was fairly easy and the only hazard was the carport overhang which I did not want to damage. With Darrell as my escort, he guided me in the blind spots. We quickly unloaded everything in under three hours. Perspiring, exhausted and hungry, we took a quick break. As Sarah's diligence in setting up her apartment to a normalcy grew urgent, so did our departure from moving the rest of her belongings. Darkness swiftly descended upon us and it was time to take the truck back. With all of the unloading completed, our weary bones tired and ready to make the long journey home. Thoughts of a long hot shower and a nice glass of wine quickly snapped back to reality as we advised our dear friend to call 1-800-MOVERS the next time she needs a hand.

Blogs

on Rheumatoid Arthritis is plentiful and abound on the Internet. In my search for knowledge about this disease that has taken up residence in my body, I am the gracious host and have learned to co-exist with this foreign invader by administering medicine that will help to keep the swelling from gravitating upwards making my fingers look like pudgy sausages and from the excruciating pain that rides along with it. Of course there are side effects and a myriad of other problems that come with taking these medicines. My RAtologist is keeping a close watch on my blood and my state of mind during my appointments. There are many helpful and informative sights on RA originating from society and centers for health. Knowledgeable as they are, the blogs or rather reports are very detailed as far as talking about the factors, symptom's and depth of the disease. I find comfort in the blogs written in part by people like me that have a life, family, work and are trying to understand the "why me?" syndrome. I remember when I was first diagnosed with this disease. I was thinking, "ok, it's not Cancer" and I wasn't really too worried about it. After delving into the Internet on any and all information about rheumatoid arthritis, I was exhausted. The only visual material wording that stunned me in all of these blogs were the words, "No Cure". At least Cancer has a cure! My emotions were overwhelmed and I cried for a few moments at a time. There was too much for me to do before I become totally debilitated by this disease. It took me a few months say the word "disease" and acknowledge it as such. After a healthy amount of reading and extensive visits with my RAtologist, my state of mind is in a better place and attitude. I have learned to cope with this foreign resident and have given everything it needs so that we can peacefully co-exist one day at a time.

Super Tuesday

is what they are touting. It's voting day and assured to be a monumental event as we will have a first in that of Obama, our first ever African American President or Clinton, our first ever woman President. Who ever will win, I would hope the other would stay on as Vice President creating a Dream team power combination. I did notice many more young people voting and it is refreshing to see.
Since the injection of my Humira last week, the bruise on my left thigh has spread to the size of a quarter and the welt had receded within 24 hours. I called the nurse practitioner to advise her of this and she stated that I may have not let the alcohol dry, after swabbing the prepared area of injection and the alcohol caused some irritation and bruising there. I will need to remember that for the next shot which will be on the right thigh. After completing the thigh area, the stomach is another area that is open for the Humira injections just to change up the administering. I'm going to have to talk myself into that too. I'm fairing rather well on the rest of my medication and I'm still at one and a half tablet of prednisone, one folic acid and one multi-vitamin, daily. The methotrexate is taking religiously every Wednesday at four tablets. I will see my RAtologist on the 20th of this month and make sure to visit the lab for another blood test to show where my markers are. In August, my marker or RA factor registered at 101 with my primary doctor. With my RA physician, the marker stood at 96. Since my treatment began to now, I have lowered it to the low 40's. My RAtologist would like to see it in my 30's.
I have been eating about as healthy as I want but can still use a good walking program to shed some pounds and keep my joints healthy. Swimming is best and highly recommended.
I never want to feel that painful affliction ever again. My body did not belong to me and it was unrecognizable, inhospitable and a cruel, sick joke was being played upon my senses. I felt helpless and worried that my still young life at 45 (I'll be 46 next month) is coming to an end. Having faith and trust in my RA doctor proved that I would regain my independence with the help of medication and management. I have never taken for granted my life and have never been frivolous with it. This disease has caused me to take a closer look to improve my life and make it more enjoyable in my years ahead.

Broken promises

My friend, Yvonne and her church in San Mateo had an event that involved my surrogate family, The Evans. It was a night of music provided for by the Tongan Children's brass band, a slide show of the Church trip to New Orleans in October 2007 and a potluck dinner with Mama's gumbo being the feature attraction. It was quite a showing of church parishioner's as the event was an enormous success. The slide show was showcasing the church trip to New Orleans and their assisting in the rebuilding of two Katrina Families. Devastation is still present today with the help of FEMA and other government assistance slowing to a trickle. The undeniable assistance of relief only benefiting a fortunate few. Our government and state officials have abandoned this spirited icon of history and it's people only to turn their attention towards remembering their fiscal budgets and broken promises. No where in history has there ever been a mass exodus of peoples treated with the harshness and cruelty as the Katrina Survivors. They are a people without a country. Nations saw the devastation and we were gripped to our T.V. for weeks as word of loved ones ebbed out onto our screens. Monies poured in from every country on earth in the hope of finding a recipient. Well wishers sent cards, letters and offers of adopting whole families to come and stay with them. Strangers helping strangers. The hearts of the world reached out to New Orleans and softly held it's people close to it's bosom. Months later as the welcome mat wore out with family and friends, Mama would say, these ignorant people said to the Katrina families, "Get over it!" How can you tell a proud family that lived through a devastation that most of us can only imagine, at best, to "Get over it?" I'm sure it will be tucked away in the corner of our minds like every other major world catastrophe, but it will not be forgotten. Like the horrific Indonesia Tsunami in 2004, New Orleans Katrina and the cries of it's people, will not be forgotten.