Another Day

It's not enough
that is on my plate
a disease with no cure
no cure, yet, to create

excruciating pain
where did you come from?
where will you go?
when you are done

strong and able
I was once before
after you arrived
I was on all four

disbelieving, that this
was happening to me
irreversible damage
to my once healthy body

my energies drained
fatigue sets in
My question to God
what was my sin?

my body
red with rage
not from anger
my body
its cage

I have to go on
so much to do
will you let me
live this through

settled and uncomfortable
not trusting this
a slow patient breath
of life, I will miss

My disease and I, coexist
day by day
I pray to God
to see another day

Piggybacking

on my wireless connections has been much harder to access lately. Everyone has locked in and blocked me from piggy backing off of their servers. Serves me right that I need to get my own wireless router to have my own access. My son dominates the Internet at home due to school and what not. I am left to my own devices at work or when I can get online at home so catching up on my blog has been a little bit more tricky.What a stormy day it was at the airport and sure enough flight delays abound. We tried to accommodate as many customers as we possible could with full flights and other airlines. I'm sure many misconnected and will have to overnight in those connecting cities. There is nothing that we, as an airline, that we could do to accommodate all of our passengers. I have a full shift today and tonight and will need to go home and nap before the start of my evening shift. I received a very nice paycheck this time due to the fact that I'm picking up more hours versus my sick time paycheck which was pitiful. I can't neglect my health and will need to rest when I can and hopefully I will when I get home.

This has been one hell of a week. My TB test turned out to be negative and I'm cleared for the Humira shot which I picked up today at Walgreen's. I'll be going into to see Jenine tomorrow at my RAtologist office for the follow up injection and how to use the pen device. I'm currently mourning the loss of a good friend and am seeking refuge and comfort in this blog. My holidays will be very quiet with the exception of a few parties that I've been invited to from my good friends that I still have. I've just barely sent out my Christmas cards in time for the holiday rush and I don't see myself going to a mall anytime soon. My RAtologist thinks that I'll be able to go back to work in January of 2008. I'm very happy for that because I need to work. Don't get me wrong, but staying at home is wonderful but only if you can afford it. I just barely squeaked by. I tasked myself for the past three months and completed just about everything that I wanted to do. I want to get back to work! I want to start travelling! I want to start living! I want to not feel unwanted! I can only hope that next year will be a much better and improved one for me.

Reducing my medication

two weeks ago and I'm totally feeling the effects of it. At my last doctors visit, he lowered my prednisone from 1 and a half to half a tablet on all odd days and one whole tablet on even days. Tomorrow, I will be switching again to half a tablet everyday until December 1st. The stiffness in my fingers have definitely come back to the point of where i cannot make a closed fist anymore. The stiffness in my left shoulder blade is more prominent. It takes me awhile to get "warmed up" and then I can move more easily as my day goes on. In December, my doctor will be putting me through phase three of my medications which will involve a series of shots. I don't know how long I will be on these medications but the thought of needle injections Is not high on my favorite list.