Christmas day

and we have no signs of the Christmas spirit in our home. The artificial Christmas tree is still downstairs in it's box in storage, lights are still boxed up and ornaments are packed away. With only my son home with me and he being fourteen, he knows who Santa Clause is, the North Pole is a fact and that we are struggling for every last bit of money to hold onto this house. He knows that this will be a bleak Christmas as far as presents from his mother and can always hit up his father for that. He knows that he is well loved, he gets a scolding from me from time to time but in his heart, he know that I love him very much. His sister Pua sent him a B.I.G. blanket comforter which he loves because it's warm and "gangstah". Personally, I think Christmas is overrated and it makes us all go out and spend what we don't have to just be further in debt to credit card companies.
It is also the time of year in which my mother passed away several years ago and has left me empty during this time, missing her immensely. In my house, I watch T.V or movies all day, blog on my laptop, sell EBay stuff, talk to friends and co-workers and enjoy more of my quiet time thinking about my mother and father, my children, brother and sister. I think of better tomorrows and try not to worry because God does watch over us all and cares for us as much as he can, but we have to care first.

This has been one hell of a week. My TB test turned out to be negative and I'm cleared for the Humira shot which I picked up today at Walgreen's. I'll be going into to see Jenine tomorrow at my RAtologist office for the follow up injection and how to use the pen device. I'm currently mourning the loss of a good friend and am seeking refuge and comfort in this blog. My holidays will be very quiet with the exception of a few parties that I've been invited to from my good friends that I still have. I've just barely sent out my Christmas cards in time for the holiday rush and I don't see myself going to a mall anytime soon. My RAtologist thinks that I'll be able to go back to work in January of 2008. I'm very happy for that because I need to work. Don't get me wrong, but staying at home is wonderful but only if you can afford it. I just barely squeaked by. I tasked myself for the past three months and completed just about everything that I wanted to do. I want to get back to work! I want to start travelling! I want to start living! I want to not feel unwanted! I can only hope that next year will be a much better and improved one for me.