Happy New Year

     Just a few more hours until I am fully on my way into the New Year, 2013.  I am still off from work due to my pinched nerve in my left shoulder preventing me from lifting heavy bags.  There are a few jobs that  my company can put me in the "light duty" department aspect of what I do.  I see my primary doctor tomorrow and will follow up on the out come of when i go back to work with another physical therapy appointment on Thursday.
     My daughter Pua called and left a message on my phone from San Mateo General Hospital where she had to self-admit herself last week due to her not taking her medications for her Mental Illness causing her "voices" to come back with a vengeance.  Her reason for not taking her medication is that she is three months pregnant and did not want to harm the baby with these strong drugs.  Throw in her somewhat mentally ill boyfriend. Adolpho,  who takes her medication and Crystal meth and whatever else he needs to self-medicate himself with,  she is going to have a long, hard road ahead of her.  I've always suggested to her to write her own memoirs and thoughts into a blog,  she prefers journals.  Her young life has been disturbing and harrowing.  I,  and only I,  am the  reluctant involuntary passenger into her  wild ride of the fearful and dark unknown.  There is no happy ending,  only switchbacks to where we first started this perilous journey which repeats itself like a phonographs skipping needle on a warped record,  over and over and over and over again.

Better late than never

       Many birthdays, funerals, events of my life and changes have happened since I had last posted.  I still have the stiffness and aches of Rheumatoid Arthritis which will be with me until my last breath.  Luckily,  I have a great  Rheumatologist who is very happy with my results and where I am today versus where I was in 2007 at my first diagnosis.  I still have a wonderful support system of God, friends, family and the all mighty Internet!
     The daily living of my life is now wanting me to write, type and say what is on my mind.  With the advancement of picture phones causes me to react to what I see,  most of the time beautiful visions and sometimes,  it pauses me to question.
      This year, turning 50 was uneventful and with little celebration.  Not wanting the "hoopla" that goes along with a unique event was my choice.   Doc Stevens, my Rheumatologist,  has been consistent in mixing and tweaking my medicinal cocktail of Methotrexate, Prednisone and Folic Acid.  In addition to that,  I was on Humira for approximately one year and self-injecting my poor thigh every two weeks with this hugely expensive liquid gold that would take away the inflammation that has turned against me waging a horrific war on my joints and bones.  Friends thought I was heroic to subject myself to that torture when in reality,  I did not want to sit in an office for three hours on an I.V. every week  listening to other patients and their talk of combat with this dreadful disease.  Call me selfish,  uncaring and self-centered.  I was battling my own depressing feelings of fright, fear, loneliness and heaviness that weighted me down.    
     My Rheumatologist seems to think my disease is in remission but can rear its ugly head at any time.  I do thank Heavenly Father along with my dilligance to take my medication to help me along for as long as I can.

Blogs

on Rheumatoid Arthritis is plentiful and abound on the Internet. In my search for knowledge about this disease that has taken up residence in my body, I am the gracious host and have learned to co-exist with this foreign invader by administering medicine that will help to keep the swelling from gravitating upwards making my fingers look like pudgy sausages and from the excruciating pain that rides along with it. Of course there are side effects and a myriad of other problems that come with taking these medicines. My RAtologist is keeping a close watch on my blood and my state of mind during my appointments. There are many helpful and informative sights on RA originating from society and centers for health. Knowledgeable as they are, the blogs or rather reports are very detailed as far as talking about the factors, symptom's and depth of the disease. I find comfort in the blogs written in part by people like me that have a life, family, work and are trying to understand the "why me?" syndrome. I remember when I was first diagnosed with this disease. I was thinking, "ok, it's not Cancer" and I wasn't really too worried about it. After delving into the Internet on any and all information about rheumatoid arthritis, I was exhausted. The only visual material wording that stunned me in all of these blogs were the words, "No Cure". At least Cancer has a cure! My emotions were overwhelmed and I cried for a few moments at a time. There was too much for me to do before I become totally debilitated by this disease. It took me a few months say the word "disease" and acknowledge it as such. After a healthy amount of reading and extensive visits with my RAtologist, my state of mind is in a better place and attitude. I have learned to cope with this foreign resident and have given everything it needs so that we can peacefully co-exist one day at a time.