I can’t you idiot! I’m not an able bodied person!!!”

As quoted by Sasha from "living with RA". I totally know that she means by that statement. People in general, we like to believe, are good citizens in human society. Working at the airport, I know all too well about the living and able bodied people versus the disabled and families travelling with very young children. Impatience does not belong in the flying world of hurried travellers and trying to be the 1st one on board so that you can get your carry on luggage in the overhead bins. We neglect to see this and in our own selfish virtue, we become concerned about number one, ourselves. Travelling in 1st class, they are in their own world. Once they are on that red or blue carpet, who they leave behind in the boarding area is of no concern to them. Usually the next section to board is the frequent flyer's some of whom it can take up to 10 minutes to board alone. Some of them will be agitated since they did not buy or get upgraded to 1st class. Others will be completely beside themselves if families with children or the disabled are boarded before them sometimes causing a scene with their unkind comments or dagger throwing glares. "How dare they be boarded before me!" To these people, I think, 9/11 did not happen, the War in Iraq is a joke, Hitler loved African Americans, everyone is alive and well after the Katrina Hurricane and our economy is doing excellent. I know that these are not true at all. But it is easy to forget, put away and go on in the minds of most Americans. If we keep remembering these things, we might be a little more kinder and not harsh with a driving edge. We might learn to find our purpose and live together just a little longer on this place we call Earth.

Blogs

on Rheumatoid Arthritis is plentiful and abound on the Internet. In my search for knowledge about this disease that has taken up residence in my body, I am the gracious host and have learned to co-exist with this foreign invader by administering medicine that will help to keep the swelling from gravitating upwards making my fingers look like pudgy sausages and from the excruciating pain that rides along with it. Of course there are side effects and a myriad of other problems that come with taking these medicines. My RAtologist is keeping a close watch on my blood and my state of mind during my appointments. There are many helpful and informative sights on RA originating from society and centers for health. Knowledgeable as they are, the blogs or rather reports are very detailed as far as talking about the factors, symptom's and depth of the disease. I find comfort in the blogs written in part by people like me that have a life, family, work and are trying to understand the "why me?" syndrome. I remember when I was first diagnosed with this disease. I was thinking, "ok, it's not Cancer" and I wasn't really too worried about it. After delving into the Internet on any and all information about rheumatoid arthritis, I was exhausted. The only visual material wording that stunned me in all of these blogs were the words, "No Cure". At least Cancer has a cure! My emotions were overwhelmed and I cried for a few moments at a time. There was too much for me to do before I become totally debilitated by this disease. It took me a few months say the word "disease" and acknowledge it as such. After a healthy amount of reading and extensive visits with my RAtologist, my state of mind is in a better place and attitude. I have learned to cope with this foreign resident and have given everything it needs so that we can peacefully co-exist one day at a time.

RAtologist

I can't wait to see him! I never thought that I would be saying that but in light of the way I feel, I need a shot of something to get this old body back into the swing of things. My "rhummy" has been really bad this week with the lessening of the prednisone down to half a tablet every odd day. Mostly when I get up in the morning, my middle finger on my right hand is now in a claw like position and hurts very much If I try to straighten it out. My pinky finger is swollen right in the joint area causing pain there. Walking has been a little difficult and it seems to lessen as my day goes along. My right ankle and knees are the ones doing the most complaining and it's definite that I cannot go from a kneeling position to stand upright anymore. I notice more sounds that my body is making now, the slight cracking of my bones in my movements of walk when I go from a sitting position to a standing position. Putting one foot in front of the other as the tiny bones in my toes even crackle. Weird and scary.
The turning of my head, I hear sounds within my neck attached to the spinal column crackling. It closely resembles the sound of a ripe watermelon being torn open, very slowly. I tried to explain this sound to my RAtologist but couldn't find the description for it until this post. Not being able to fully close my hand of palm means not being able to grip simple things like keys, and writing utensils. You take for granted what you already have until it's taken away from you. I'm sure someone wrote that and it's so true. Today is my dental appointment for my yearly cleaning and I hope they don't find my mouth too offensive. I'm sure they've seen worse. I have to let them know that I have RA since my last dental cleaning. There might be a different procedure that they handle, I'm not sure, it's just a precaution.
My Casino brothers, Mel and Jaz are taking me out to Hokkaido in Foster City today. It's a Japanese Buffet and it's very inexpensive. Succulent crab and fresh oysters, entrees of all types and the sushi bar is to die for. I really enjoy my time with my co-workers and friends and I'm glad that they think of me often since I'm not working and on disability, to invite me out. It gets me out of the house and keeps me out of trouble.

I got approved

from my company fund to help me out with expenses such as my mortgage and PG&E. I am so happy that it's one less thing that I have to worry about. My company takes care of it's employees in times of financial burden, disasters and other situations beyond our control. I applied a few weeks ago and the woman, Janet called me the other day and said that they'll be going into their weekly meeting and she'll be presenting my case. I later found out that they call your station to ask about the employee's performance, attendance, training and such. She called me Tuesday to let me know that I was approved and that they would FEDX an envelope out to me. I was so elated and thanked her profusely, trying very hard not to cry during our phone conversation. I would be receiving the envelope this Thursday. I told myself that as soon as I go back to work, I will sign on and start contributing to the fund. It is such an excellent source of help for the employees and i am forever in their gratitude for it.

Disability Insurance

I received a call from the disability office stating that I was not eligible for our states disability insurance. It's the one that I've paid into for 25 plus years and they're advising me that I cannot receive payments because I'm already receiving "sick pay" from my employer at my part-time rate. Living in California, we either pick up massive hours to compensate for the rent or mortgage and other necessities that we need to survive or have two jobs. I have the latter where as I am able to pick up large amounts of hours to where I am able to compensate my part time hours into full-time. So why won't they pay me? Because picking up hours is not my "customary work schedule"!! Heck, they should have told me that before going on disability. I would have upped my status, if possible, to full time and THEN taken disability. That would have made better sense. So it makes me think, why pay into a system when they can't help you, even with an appeal. What do all the other part-timers do in this situation? Just venting, thanks for listening!