End of Summer

and it feels like there are so many things in turmoil. Every time I turn on the radio, Television, open a newspaper or log onto a computer to view the current news of the day. It seems our world is in so much confusion, violence and hurt and no resolution to it's dilemma. The war in Gaza, fighting in Syria, unrest in Africa, rape, mutilation and genocide to women and children. When will it end? Who will help to end this catastrophic worriment. Being a citizen and residing in the safety of the United States of America, i am not without my own concern. I can't help but think of what other people are going through in the localities above and how I would have to prepare for the type of survival skills that they have forcefully acquired due to their situation. I can't imagine myself living day to day about escaping the viciousness of my impending captors, interrupted sleep patterns let alone getting any rest or sleep and where i would be able to get food or water. Where would I hide myself let alone my family, if there any survivors left of my family. Trying to escape to survive the dropped bombs, dodging the whizzing of bullets and sidestepping land minds and hidden gas canisters. Seeing first hand the ferocity and the barbarous acts of violence behind the cover of my hiding place. I am defenseless and unable to help lest I expose myself and be put in the act of endangering myself in their ruthless and sadistic execution of destructiveness of another human being. I can't imagine what is going through their minds or looking into their soulless eyes in their wanton rampage of terrorism. The coldness and harsh reality of becoming less than human when taking someones life is incomprehensible to me. Because I am here in the "somewhat" safety of the United States, I am not without our own violence in the states. But not as enigmatic as to what is going on in the world. I can't imagine but I do, I think and I weep. I worry about my now adult children and what will happen in 50 years. That war can very well happen to the United States if we are not careful and mindful. We are lucky to have what we have and live where we live. But we are not without danger and threat. If these reality shows also focused on what is truly what is going on in the world, homelessness, poverty and wars, our jaded home life would not be as privileged and cushioned by the authenticity of the real world. We need more preparedness programs and classes on how to cope and handle situations. Our children today have no clue as what to expect or handle a predicament. We help to smooth their quandaries by assisting them because we are good parents and want to help them. I hope for them to never know the other side of war and all that it encompasses and it's horribleness. I can only hope good things for our world and our children. And to know that there is good still within our hearts. We shall overcome.

Time for family

Our "post Thanksgiving" dinner turned out to be an incredible moment in time for me. In attendance was my brother Doug, whom i haven't seen or spoken to in 3 years, my oldest daughter Nani, whom i have recently connected with, my daughter Pua, whom We keep in constant contact with, my partners daughter Camden, who visits regularly, my son Manny who sometimes thinks he knows more than me, my best friend from work, Darrell who's father recently passed away, Steven, Nani's boyfriend and Pua's housemate Judith all came together to celebrate the spirit of giving thanks. It truly was a sprited thanksgiving. There was talk, discussion, laughter, harmony, good heartedness, tender moments, tears of joy, forgivness and the fragile bond of what friendship and family is. All of these qualities and more is what human spirit is about. It has been what I have been missing for quite some time. This is usually a "dark" time for me as my owm parents have passed away many years ago but it stills feels like only yesterday that i was visiting with my parents while they spoil their grand kids. I dont think i will ever lose this feeling but a reunion of this type helps to ease my pain of missing what i need, the spirit and togetherness of family.

Memories of my memories

It's true, I have been daydreaming and reminiscing about my children, who are all now, young adults with lives of their own and journeying into their own chapters of life. We just graduated a daughter Bryn from Mills College in Oakland last weekend and our son, Manny, from Air Force Boot Camp at Lackland AFB in San Antonio last month. We had another daughter, Camden, that graduated from Goucher College in Baltimore last year. My oldest daughter, Nani, I have not heard from for almost a year and lives in Pacifica with her boyfriend and another daughter, Pua, who constantly drifts in and out of our lives with a semi abusive boyfriend and lives by her wit and know how but always calls or texts me "Goodnight, mom...it's me Pua" tagged at the end of her message. My memories that have been occasional but only recently have begun to be unremitting. They consist mostly of my children as young toddlers up to 10 years of age. Clearly vivid as if yesterday, I can see them playing, hearing their laughs and giggles, brushing their hair, giving them baths, taking them to the store, watching them in pre-school, hearing their stories of gramma and grampa and all of these memories involve some type of motion, sense of smell, and essence of what was, a bouquet of delicious recollections of my children's past of years ago. I don't know why these reflections are so strong and intense. Maybe it's because this is what they call the "empty next" syndrome. But for what ever reason, my children are constantly on my mind. I'm hoping and wishing that their lives evolve into something good and productive as mine has been to me. I hope the good lord watches over them and gives them peace when they're troubled and I'm very glad that they call when they need direction or to hear our voices and I am glad to hear theirs. God is Good, Amen.

The Power of Massage

Last Friday, I was gifted a surprise massage by my wife. No, we did not have a couples massage even tho I asked. This was a gift for me. I've never been to a professional massage in all my 50 years and now was a better time than ever. The establishment is called Massage Envy located in Redwood City. As I walked in, the surroundings reminded me of another beautiful and serene facility called Watercourse Way in Palo Alto. Both, very much zen like and peaceful. It's all about relaxation and I am all for that type of healing. My massage therapist was Cody Lam who has a very gentle way and peacefulness about her. I read her bio located on the table in the waiting room which after talking with her, she stated that the book is at least four years old! Definitely needs to be updated as she is no longer in Massage school. Upon entering my room which was low lit and the tranquil sound of Asian inspired music in the background, I was ready for more peacefulness. I undressed down to my undergarment and slipped under the light sheet and blanket and felt the warm massage table which you can choose to have added before your massage. A few minutes later, Cody entered the room and spoke quietly on what I would like to have done today. I asked that my upper back, shoulders, arms, hands, upper neck areas to be targeted. I would have liked the whole body massage but I really wanted to have specific areas to be her focus. My whole being in those areas ached tremendously and to have her work her magic hands on me was delightful and healing. The firmness of her hand strokes were soothing yet powerful. Each stroke rhythmic and balanced like a painter to her blank canvass. My deep breaths seduced by her movements, the distress in my aching muscles commanded her attention and the feeling of contentment eased my discomfort. My grand wish list would have this delicious elixir of movement every week for the rest of my life. Maybe even twice a week! This antidote would cure most ills of the world, one can only hope.

"I Have a Dream"

"He was against all policies based on race. The basis of his attack on segregation was to judge us by the content of our character, not by the color of our skin". Peter Schramm, a conservative historian and former Reagan Administration official This video was taken in 2009 on the "Martin Luther King Freedom Train". Mama Diane Evans and I traveled this historic ride with hundreds of other passengers aboard the Cal-Train into the City of San Francisco to attend peaceful demonstrations and a video account of who Martin Luther King was and what he had accomplished in his very short life. Mama Diane Evans is the colorful turban wrapped woman singing in this video. She is the mother of my co-worker and good friend, Carmen. I dearly love this lady and the whole of her body exudes warmth and spirit akin to mine. Her stories of struggles, life and love keep me entranced and am glad to know that she is in my life.

Happy Holidays!

   It seems appropriate to say and politically correct in this day and age.  I have a day off from work and making potato salad for Mama Diane's gathering tomorrow at her house.  I'm also fending off a cold and have been self-medicating myself to a healthy return.  My Curasrip people for my Humira pen forgot to call me and now i'll be a little late in taking my injections but it won't matter much.  I have been feeling the best that I can be with little swelling on some days and resting when I can when i'm not working.  Doctor Stephans likes where all my "markers" are and is happy with my results since my first meeting with him.  I was in alot of pain and my movements were very restricting to me.  It was unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life.  A complete wake up call to my health and I thought I was doing all that I could to not have the diseases that my own mother and father had.  It was a bit of a let down but I wasn't too deterred and figured,  my life needs to go on.  Sitting here on Christmas Eve day,  I have much to be thankful for.  I  am still here,  I have my children who love me,  I have friends and family that support and love me unconditionally and I have recently found peace in god's house.  I wish everyone a peaceful and joyous holidays.  Try to help those in need whenever possible and give thanks to the lord, always.