52

and feeling like every bit of that age. Half a decade, 52, elderly, senior citizen or just plain OLD! I am living in a world where if you don't already have a job, you probably won't be able to get one unless you are super talented and have skills that can carry you over and win the confidence of that company or you know someone. I have every intention of holding onto my current job but have had lingering thoughts of driving a bus again. I used to drive for the Durham Transportation company that picks up and drops off school age children to where they need to go and I really enjoyed that type of job at that time. I'm not so sure I would enjoy working with school aged children again. Looking over the Craigslist ads and seeing the Stanford Marguerite Shuttle have openings every now and then AND they are willing to train you to get your class B license is an even greater incentive to apply. Plus, I secretly think they are waiting for me to apply! Not to be overly confident and not sure of who or what they are looking for but I question on Why there is always such a high turn over. Anyway, to get back to feeling old. I just dyed my hair today and it seems that I have to dye it every two to three weeks instead of every other month. The gray around my face makes me look like I have on an Eskimo hooded jacket and my age and tiredness shows there. When I dye my hair, it rejuvenates me and gives me a sense of youth. That's right, I am VAIN as is most women my age. Middle-aged crisis? Call it what you want but no one likes to feel old unless they themselves call it, which i have done on numerous occasions after turning 50. I can feel my body slow down, my skin sags in areas where it used to be tight and strong. My bones make more creaking sounds than my living-room floor. I have to move slowly in the morning upon wakening as to not strain anything. My Rheumatoid arthritis numbs my fingers and after exercising them while lifting my coffee cup to my dry mouth a few times, it takes quite a bit of effort to warm up. I haven't been to my Gym in over six months and yet I am paying $49.00 a month to keep it in the hopes that one day I will go. I keep telling myself, "after work I will go work out at the Gym" but the overtime that I get from work keeps me from going but really it's my procrastination that prevents me from doing just that. All in all, as long as the good lord lets me get up in the morning and I have a job that I can go to and put food on my table, pay what I need to pay and enjoy my family, then it's been a good life for me. I am grateful for what I have even if it's just a few gray hairs.

End of Summer

and it feels like there are so many things in turmoil. Every time I turn on the radio, Television, open a newspaper or log onto a computer to view the current news of the day. It seems our world is in so much confusion, violence and hurt and no resolution to it's dilemma. The war in Gaza, fighting in Syria, unrest in Africa, rape, mutilation and genocide to women and children. When will it end? Who will help to end this catastrophic worriment. Being a citizen and residing in the safety of the United States of America, i am not without my own concern. I can't help but think of what other people are going through in the localities above and how I would have to prepare for the type of survival skills that they have forcefully acquired due to their situation. I can't imagine myself living day to day about escaping the viciousness of my impending captors, interrupted sleep patterns let alone getting any rest or sleep and where i would be able to get food or water. Where would I hide myself let alone my family, if there any survivors left of my family. Trying to escape to survive the dropped bombs, dodging the whizzing of bullets and sidestepping land minds and hidden gas canisters. Seeing first hand the ferocity and the barbarous acts of violence behind the cover of my hiding place. I am defenseless and unable to help lest I expose myself and be put in the act of endangering myself in their ruthless and sadistic execution of destructiveness of another human being. I can't imagine what is going through their minds or looking into their soulless eyes in their wanton rampage of terrorism. The coldness and harsh reality of becoming less than human when taking someones life is incomprehensible to me. Because I am here in the "somewhat" safety of the United States, I am not without our own violence in the states. But not as enigmatic as to what is going on in the world. I can't imagine but I do, I think and I weep. I worry about my now adult children and what will happen in 50 years. That war can very well happen to the United States if we are not careful and mindful. We are lucky to have what we have and live where we live. But we are not without danger and threat. If these reality shows also focused on what is truly what is going on in the world, homelessness, poverty and wars, our jaded home life would not be as privileged and cushioned by the authenticity of the real world. We need more preparedness programs and classes on how to cope and handle situations. Our children today have no clue as what to expect or handle a predicament. We help to smooth their quandaries by assisting them because we are good parents and want to help them. I hope for them to never know the other side of war and all that it encompasses and it's horribleness. I can only hope good things for our world and our children. And to know that there is good still within our hearts. We shall overcome.

Bullying

still exist in the workplace. I was the subject of this awful behavior and it does not feel good. For all of my adult life, this has not happened to me. I hear of it happening to other people or co-workers and I tell them to fight back and write a letter or report them. I hardly ever find out the resolve of their problem. But when this happened to me? I felt the violation, the urging, the pushing, the intimidation and I needed to write my own letter to a superior. This behavior has to stop. My letter writing caused several other co-workers to write similar letters of their own. A Supervisor contacted me two days later and stated that he will remedy this problem. I am not sure of what the plan of action is or will be but I do hope for resolve soon. There should be ZERO TOLERANCE of bullying in the workplace. ** Names have been changed to protect those at work ** Good evening, I am writing to inform you about an incident that occurred this morning before the start of my 7:30 AM shift. As usual, I clocked in and checked to see what my assignment was for the day on the schedule board located outside the Supervisor's office. The board stated that my assignment was to be in MOD 2 Additional Services or the "C" position located in the Lobby behind the Ticket Counter. I had a few minutes before the start of the 7:30 AM briefing and proceeded to the board in the hallway to see if they had posted our new bid shift sheet for May 2014. I was talking with a co-worker, Scooby*, about what shift we picked. As I was talking with Scooby*, Service Director Sheena KweenBee* interrupted our conversation without a "hello" or "Good morning" and TOLD me, rather abruptly, "When your shift starts at 7:30 AM, I need you to go out to the "Ticketing Position" in MOD 1 to relieve an agent out there who hadn't received a break yet, she's been here since 4:00 AM"! I replied, "I want to go to my 7:30 AM briefing". She retorted very tersely, "You don't need to go to your 7:30 briefing, just go and relieve that agent"! She added, "You can go to the 9:00 AM or 9:30 AM briefing, but I need you to go out there when you start at 7:30!" I replied, "I am going to my 7:30 AM briefing, there are a lot of other agents that can go to the Ticket counter to relieve that agent"! She then loudly stated, "I'm going to go talk with DooWright (Supervisor AM) and see what she says!" I replied, "Good, I'd like to hear what she says too!" By then, our briefing had started and I felt like I was being intimidated and bullied by being "targeted" due to the fact that I am "pre-merger", a Continental Airlines agent, being forced to do a job that anyone else can be asked to do. I was angry and upset by this intentional act to leave me out of a briefing (which I always attend) while at least 15 other agents (probably 3-5 of them I have Seniority over) were available for the task. I take pride in myself by always being available to help my co-workers. I frequently sign up to be a mentor and I take this job very seriously. Starting off the morning feeling bullied, harassed and then working for 8 hours is toxic. It is not a good environment for anyone and I don't feel like I performed to the best of my ability today. Thank you for taking the time to read my email.

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

Every time I hear a story about an airline incident, directly affects me due in part that I work for a major carrier and I interact with all of my passengers on a personal basis. The conversations between myself and the passengers and their families only make me part of their families for a few precious minutes. To be on the ground and then to fly hundreds of miles in a metal container and what happens is beyond anyone's control. Accidents such as this "hits home" for me. My heart goes out to the families and all those affected. It's been a few weeks and speculation is rampant due in part because they can't seem to locate the aircraft or it's passengers. They brought scientists in to map the aircraft's route, they have been "combing" the passenger list to see who might be a terrorist, speculation is on the crew, the cockpit, the passengers, the aircraft and all those involved with Malaysian Airlines. The list goes on and makes it all the more news for the media. The waiting for any little piece of information to be given to the families, the hope and the unknown that they must be going through. I tense at these incidents of airliners. I, too, am hoping for recovery. To put the families mind at ease and the passengers soul to rest as to what cause that might have happened. My deepest condolences and prayers to all. ***************************************************************************************************** (This is the last coordinates according to Wikipedia - 01:34 02:15 18:15 Last primary radar contact by Malaysian military, 200 miles (320 km) NW of Penang, 6° 49′ 38″ N, 97° 43′ 15″ E)

Milestones

My son, Manny, bought a brand new 2014 car this week.

It came as no surprise because he had been talking about buying one for quite sometime. Not long after passing his drivers licenses, it was about a week later that he had gone with his father and friend to shop for a car. He found one and it looks like he made a good choice. Compact, economical, sporty and he fits it well. He came over for a visit and to pick up a Fed X package he had been tracking containing his brand new laptop! In his short years on this earth, he has completed many "firsts" in his young life as have all my children. Now comes the worries about other crazy drivers, distractions and fear that all mothers go through, which our children will never understand until they have children of their own. We talked about his next step in the Air Force and he stated that he has been "extended" again until August but now he has to move out on his own and find an apartment with a buddy of his. The AF will give him per Diem monies that will cover some of the cost of his rent. He will need it if he to meet the monthly payments on his car. He seemed worried about something but didn't want to talk about it at the time. As he looked through my food pantry at home, he declared that he was hungry. I told him there wasn't much in the house but there is an "Inn-n-Out" down the street from us. Besides, I wanted to ride in his cool looking car. It handled very well and he seemed very comfortable to drive in it. He showed me all its features and was very proud of what he had worked and saved so hard for. He was a little anxious to get back on the road and left after dropping me off at home. We said our goodbyes and wished him well on his drive back to Fairfield. I'm very proud of my son and all his accomplishments.